Tuesday, May 8, 2007

You want WHAT for the yard?

Looking back now, I'm not sure where the idea came from. It seems to be one of those organic thoughts that make such total, logical sense that its origin becomes irrelevant; what matters is that, once in your head, its so compelling as to become an obsession.

"Look at this," I said to my husband one night last week. "Isn't this cool?"

I was referring to a website I had stumbled across for a cool-looking way to keep chickens. Or rabbits. That's what was so cool about it..it houses chickens or rabbits in equal comfort. It's from www.omlet.us, it's called an "eglu" (get it? Yeah I know.), and it looks, as one friend described it, like REI decided to start making chicken coops. It's all high-tech and mod and...plastic-y:

"You want chickens?" My husband said. He was clearly disappointed. I think he was hoping I wanted to show him a website for like, Matrix-inspired lingerie or at least, a stand-up arcade Sinistar game for sale.

"Yeah! Chickens! Wouldn't it be great?? Our own fresh eggs!"

"Hmm. I don't know," he said. "Wouldn't they be noisy?"

"No!", I replied. "Only if you get a rooster. I don't think you need a rooster. Wait. Do you?"

"Uh, you better read up first. And aren't they stinky?"

"Absolutely not!" (I had no idea) "I think that's only if you feed them crap commercial feed." (Did I mention I had no idea?)

So I spent the next week reading the information on the website. Those guys made it sound like a snap and had all sorts of pithy advice about "brooding" (take away their pot, even if they hiss at you!")and how you can tell which eggs came from which chickens (the special shape!) and how to check your chicken's "vent." (You don't want to know.)I gushed to anyone who would listen about my new desire. The reactions ranged from "I don't know you, can I please get out of my car now?" to "You want me to take care of those too??!" (My housemate..sheesh you'd think he didn't like walking and feeding our dog when we aren't there) to a whole-hearted, "Chickens are hilarious! Do it!" (my friend S. I think she's secretly setting me up. I think she knows that chickens are actually vicious, noisy, shit-smearing creatures who eat all your plants and only lay eggs once a week, in like, your shoes.)

So just as soon as I save up some extra cash, I'm gonna order me some chickens. Because who doesn't like eggs in your shoes?


MamaBean said...

Wait, chickens smoke pot?! And if you take it away, don't they just stumble around instead of hissing?

And for the record, your little sister thought of getting chickes first. ;-)

America's Craving Some Doom said...

Yeah, chickens.
This is gonna be great.

I can't wait til the majestic sparrow hawk or chicken hawk or murder hawk that hovers around our neighborhood swoops down on the eglu and holds its own Discovery Channel special in our back yard.

Sara said...

chickens are totally hilarious.